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2014. 7. 29. 13:30 TALK HOUSE LV5

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a6970/breakup-grown-woman-recovery/.

15 Ways to Get Over a Breakup Like a Grown Woman


Read more: 15 Ways to Get Over a Breakup Like a Grown Woman 
Follow us: @Cosmopolitan on Twitter | Cosmopolitan on Facebook 
Visit us at Cosmopolitan.com



1. Either block or unfriend him on Facebook, because that shit will be the death of you. Maybe you assume you are a reasonable and mature lady-human who can handle seeing the occasional reminder of him on your Facebook timeline. You're both grown-ups, right! What's a little "David's Birthday Bar Crawl!" action popping up on your feed? Noooo. There will be a really pretty redhead in his arms in every picture, and you will feel like you want to jump into Buffalo Bill's abandoned well girl-trap in Silence of The Lambs.

2. Don't immediately suggest to "stay friends" — and if he does, tell him you need to think about it. This is an impulse because you don't want to seem like you care too much about the breakup. Because you're so chill. You're so chill that your heart isn't beating. Aaand, you're dead. But truthfully, during this stilted, awkward breaking-up period, it's hard to tell whether you'll be able to be friends or not. Generally, one person wants to be friends and the other wants to be more. Gotta work that shit out before it can be a healthy friendship … if it ever can be. You're not admitting defeat by not staying friends with him.

3. If you feel an impulse to get drunk alone, call some friends instead. It's the worst being alone and sad and drunk. When you've just broken up with someone, you get all nihilistic, and because there is probably not a Hot Topic near you to get some KoRn CDs, you get too hammered to see and wind up hooking up with a 50-year-old married man with a ponytail in a bar bathroom. At least be sad with people you love! We've all been heartbroken — it's not like they'll judge you for drinking wine with dirty hair, in Family Guy pajamas.

4. If you want to drunk-text, get your friend to take your phone away or throw it in a volcano. Oh, the number of times I have drunk-texted something cryptic to an ex at 2 a.m. and assumed if he texts back, he still has feelings for me. Drunk-texting an ex is a two-steps-forward-one-step-back slide down the rabbit hole. Him replying, "nothing," to your booze-fueled, "sup," does not mean you'll have a spring wedding.

5. Begin some kind of intense, rage-based workout routine. Maybe this isn't a good time for yoga! Maybe it's a good time for something new, like kickboxing. Really get some of that negative stuff out.

6. Spend a lot of time outside. It's a cliché, but fresh air really does clear your head. So does, you know, seeing the sun every once in a while. Take at least two hours from each day just to leave your Cave of Forgotten Dreams and interact with The Outside.

7. Rebound with one incredibly hot guy, if that's what you want, and then give yourself some time to decompress and remember who you are. Go out and get yourself some strange from a guy who is either a King of Leon or just has dirty hair. It's hard to tell the difference. But then slow down and be low-key for a while. If you've had one rebound, you've had them all, in this woman's opinion.

8. If you start dating someone else, take it really slow. Dude. You just ended a relationship and your heart flipped over and exploded like a tanker in a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie. If you take it step by step and enjoy it as a casual thing for a while, that'll give you some time to evaluate whether you're actually ready to be with someone again or if you're just ready to have really hot sex with them in an elevator once in a while.

9. Allow yourself to cry when you need to. Thus preventing a giant tidal wave of #feels to wash over you in the workplace, or the DMV, or anywhere else inappropriate. If you don't, you'll repress your feelings until you break down in the office pantry while you're microwaving your pasta and that passive-aggressive asshole Susan comes over and takes you to the women's bathroom and murmurs a bunch of vaguely religious-sounding proverbs like, "This too shall pass." And then every time you and Susan make contact afterwards, it will be weird.

10. If you get a Facebook invite to his best friend's party ... stay home, put a face mask on, eat Chinese, and watch House of Cards. There is always a strong temptation to show up with a fresh blowout and a low-cut J.Lo Grammys dress, and grind with his friend that you hate just to make him jealous. Eat your heart out, you think to yourself as you do a nasty seventh grade dance grind with the guy you once referred to as a "dicksnack tool moron." Actually, assuming his best friend is some guy you don't really care about, going to that party still makes it all about him — not your emotional well-being. And seeing him will just pick the scab open.

11. Don't scheme to get him back — scheme to get yourself back. Get some solid book recs, join a pickup sports game, go on a trip somewhere with a girlfriend. Paint your bathroom; I don't care. Just do something for yourself.

12. Write him heartbroken letters and never send them. Get it all out — on paper, so as to avoid accidentally sending them. (E is for the "Extremely messed up way you treated me." R is for "the rage I feel." I is for "I will never love again." C is for "I HATE YOU YOU DICKHEAD, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME." Sent from reallyreallysad@gmail.com.) I bet that's how Alanis Morrissette wrote "You Oughta Know."

13. Avoid posting the details on Facebook. Or Twitter. Or Instagram. Or Tumblr. Live ya life! Airing your grievances on social media is not good for anyone, and it'll be embarrassing later. Who's gonna read it, anyway? Aunt Maggie? That girl you met during Welcome Week?

14. Take baths. Baths are half wallowing and half cleansing/pampering, and thus are perfect for breakups. When's the last time you really filled up your tub (clean it first, please) and had a good soak with a glass (bottle) of wine? Showers are not for the recently dumped.

15. Stop blaming yourself and thinking things like, "If only I'd watched more Bourne movies/dyed my hair blonde/given more rim jobs/was cooler." It takes two to break up — the problem wasn't just you, it was you two as a couple. It's almost reverse-narcissistic to blame yourself that much! If you try to look at the relationship from the outside, maybe you'll have an easier time seeing how you both contributed to the breakup. "If only" killed the dinosaurs. (Actually an asteroid did, but let's not quibble.)



Read more: 15 Ways to Get Over a Breakup Like a Grown Woman 
Follow us: @Cosmopolitan on Twitter | Cosmopolitan on Facebook 
Visit us at Cosmopolitan.com

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posted by Oikon
2014. 7. 22. 10:44 TALK HOUSE LV5

http://www.rd.com/advice/travel/4-vacation-travel-trends-worth-trying/


4 Vacation Travel Trends Worth Trying

Before you plan your next trip, get vacation inspiration from the newest trends in travel.

By Alison Caporimo 
Also published in Reader's Digest Magazine July 2014


Ride a Bike

Cycling-based tour operators are reporting a 25 to 30 percent increase in demand this year, thanks to travelers’ desires to stay active and eco-friendly on their getaways. Biking vacations from companies like Backroads and DuVine offer tourists the opportunity to explore such destinations as the Arizona desert and the French countryside at their own pace.

Take All the Generations

Cruise lines specialize in multigenerational travel, providing services that appeal to both six- and 66-year-olds. Climb aboard Princess Cruises and watch a poolside movie on a 300-square-foot screen while the kids practice their downward-dog poses in a youth-focused yoga program.

Track Your Genealogy

Relax and find your roots with genealogy tourism: a trip with a twist of uncovering your personal past. Each year, thousands of people flock to Salt Lake City’s Family History Library, the world’s largest repository of genealogy information, to research their extensive family trees. In search of ancestral adventure, visitors plan trips to Europe and beyond.

Step Inside Your Favorite Story

Now you can follow in the footsteps of your favorite on-screen characters. Many Downton Abbey and Game of Thrones travel packages were launched last year, while searches for hotels in Las Vegas rose by 159 percent following the release of The Hangover III, according to hotels.com.

Sources: BBC Travel, pitchengine.com, Travel Market Report, Bicycling, Travel and Leisure, Travel Channel, MSN Travel



Read more: http://www.rd.com/advice/travel/4-vacation-travel-trends-worth-trying/#ixzz389oMalCi




Q1: talk about your vacation plans

Q2: when was your best vacation?

Q3: what does vacation mean to you?

Q4: what is the biggest differences between past vacation and current one to you?

Q5: Tell your  story to all of us 

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2014. 7. 15. 12:23 TALK HOUSE LV5

http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/research-human-friendships-based-on-genetic-similarities-beyond-the-superficial/2014/07/14/8aea04fe-0ab5-11e4-8c9a-923ecc0c7d23_story.html?tid=sm_fb


 July 14 at 3:00 PM  

Friends often look alike. The tendency of people to forge friendships with people of a similar appearance has been noted since the time of Plato. But now there is research suggesting that, to a striking degree, we tend to pick friends who are genetically similar to us in ways that go beyond superficial features.

For example, you and your friends are likely to share certain genes associated with the sense of smell.

Our friends are as similar to us genetically as you’d expect fourth cousins to be, according to the study published Monday in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. This means that the number of genetic markers shared by two friends is akin to what would be expected if they had the same great-great-great-grandparents.

“Your friends don’t just resemble you superficially, they resemble you genetically,” said Nicholas A. Christakis, a physician and social scientist at Yale University and a co-author of the study.

The resemblance is slight, just about 1 percent of the genetic markers, but that has huge implications for evolutionary theory, said James Fowler, a professor of medical genetics and political science at the University of California at San Diego.


Lead authors, Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler, say you and your friends probably like the same scents. (Paul Schnaittacher)

“We can do better than chance at predicting if two people are going to be friends if all we have is their genetic data,” Fowler said.

This is a data-driven study that covers hundreds of friendship pairs and stranger pairs, plus hundreds of thousands of genetic markers. There’s no single “friendship” gene driving people together. There’s no way to say that a person befriended someone else because of any one genetic trait.

The research suggests that genetic factors are like a subtle breeze in the background, strong enough to be measured statistically in a big data set even if people in their day-to- day lives aren’t consciously aware of it.

Fowler acknowledges that there are limitations to the study. The scientists used data from a multi-decade medical research study of 1,932 people in Framingham, Mass., who have been participating in a heart-disease research project that dates to 1948. Almost everyone in the study group is white, and many are of Italian ancestry. The ethnic homogeneity was useful for this kind of research because it gave the scientists the chance to look for similarities among friends that go beyond something as obvious as ethnicity.

“While we’ve found that this is true for this one well-studied group of people, we don’t know if the results can be generalized to other ethnic groups,” Fowler said. “My expectation is that it will, but we don’t know.”

The scientists looked at 1,367 friendship pairs. In that group, they looked at 466,608 genetic markers and variants of those markers. They found that friends were more likely than strangers to share many of those genetic variants.

Another wrinkle: You tend to pick friends whose immune systems are strikingly dissimilar.

This might seem to contradict the initial hypothesis (that “genetic-likes”attract), but reinforces the broader thesis that there could be a subtle biological influence on friendship preference. The preference for people with markedly different immunity may have survival advantages. If you are immune to pathogen “X,” and your friend is immune to pathogen “Y,” neither of you can catch either the “X” or “Y” disease from the other.

How, exactly, do we sniff out these biologically congenial people and make friends of them? That’s not clear. We don’t wander around with gene-sequencing equipment. There may be many factors at work, some of them trivial. People with certain body types or hair color may feel more comfortable with one another.

And friendships could develop around certain locations. People who love the smell of coffee may hang out in coffee shops and wind up becoming friends with other coffee aficionados, and it’s not surprising if some of these friend-pairs have similar olfactory genes. Swimmers might make friends at the beach with other aquanauts.

This is not a settled science. Research on genetic factors in friendships is still in a preliminary stage. But if the reasoning of Christakis and Fowler is correct, friendship, and hyper-social behavior more generally, is a significant factor in the recent evolution of the human species, which they describe as having accelerated in the past 30,000 years.

We think of evolution as a process driven by natural selection among individual organisms. But natural selection pivots on the fitness, or reproductive success, of specific genes. It’s long been understood that this requires us to look at kinship groups when thinking about the reproductive success of those genes.

This new theory says that it doesn’t look broadly enough at how evolution works. Our friends are also in the Darwinian pool with us.

Your evolutionary fitness “depends not only on your own genotype, but also on the genotype of your friends,” Christakis said.

“Social networks are an important engine for human evolution,” Fowler said. “Our friends are sort of like family members. They’re functional kin.”

Robert Seyfarth, a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, who was not involved in the new research, said of the study, “This is a very interesting, provocative answer to the question of why is it that humans are so hyper-social in their interactions. Why are they so friendly to strangers? Most animals don’t encounter strangers at all.”

Read more: Sociobiology’s next target? Your friendships


Q1: What is the definition of friend to you? 

Q2: Who is your best friend? Describe him/her

Q3: Do you think you have similarities with you friends? Tell us about common interest

Q4: free talk


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